Wow - I wish I'd read this article in 2010; it would have saved me a lot of pain. Often it takes a major life event to make us stop and reflect on who we are and where we're going. It's crucial, but it's hard, hard work. I agree, incidentally, with people noticing when you're okay with yourself. It's a very difficult state of being to describe, but it's noticeable. Similar to self-respect, I guess. People with low levels of self-respect, it's one of the first things people notice.